Unlocking the Safe

“Wonder is involuntary praise”  Edward Young 

My previous post "Unexpected Surprise" mentioned that I met a man.  A younger man.  My sister would say that he is just a baby.  Yes, sister - I know that you are reading this. 

Several peeps are aware that I have three children.  Two teens and one kindergartener. Several peeps are not aware that I can no longer have children.  Impossible feat as I am missing the parts to achieve this.  As I am the older one of this newfound relationship, a thought struck me as if it were a labor contraction.

"What if he wants children of his own?"

Why does it matter? Well hell, this spritely man has started to unlock the combination to my heart. Its my safe that I have kept slammed shut for years.  Its my safe that I constructed during my divorce. It was supposed to be man-proof. 

I got all, "girly-girl" with him this weekend. Meaning, I got emotional.  Someday you will want kids of your own, said my voice in my head while I looked at him.  The actual words was do you think you will want to have kids of your own?  His answer was yes and no. What happened next, was me blinking away tears. 
I spoke.  I could never give you that.  I could never give you, your own child. 

We had lunch today. I told him that I felt a little embarrased about my kid question let alone the waterworks.  He took my hands into his and said don't be, it was important to you.  I sat in wonder at this guy.

Click...click-click..the lock on the safe is being opened.